I saw the damnedest thing the other day.  A little old lady was pushing her little dog around in a child’s stroller. Now I could care less, she just looked a little crazy and I thought it was amusing.  But it did lead me to think about a much bigger issue, the coming pet obesity epidemic set to hit the United States.

Let’s set this up. Over the past decade people have become more and more pampering of their pets. We have seen a huge influx of pet products ranging from little outfits to gourmet foods to doggy spas. People have turned their pets into little people.

Younger generations are foregoing children and filling that void with a lower maintenance, less expensive child, a dog.  Baby boomers, with all of their children out of the house, are yearning for grandchildren, so they compensate with their pets.  Then there are the over-the-top dog people, people who by most measures are just plain crazy.

So what happens when all of these groups spend their disposable income on their “little baby boo”?  Well, you get dogs that live better than most humans in the world.  These dogs drink fancy bottled water, eat doggy dinners with Wolfgang Puck’s face on the package and go to doggy spas.  They get pulled around in doggy carts and carried in doggy slings.  And all while wearing little doggy hats and dresses.

Now don’t get me wrong, while I think some people are over the top with how they treat their dogs, I respect anyone who doesn’t abuse animals, and even though I think doggy outfits are a strange form of abuse, I can tolerate that.  Oh, and as long as you pick up your dog’s shit from public places (and my yard), go to town and put little Bijou in a doggy dress after a day at the salon.

But, with all of this excess comes consequence.  Look at the American population.  We have become a lazy, pampered and obese nation. We eat unhealthy food and don’t exercise like we should.  Our bodies are a machine which needs to be taken care of.  A dog is the same.  Dogs need to run around, not be carried around.  Dogs need to eat food that is formulated for their bodies.  Dogs need to get dirty and eat things that we think are disgusting. Dogs need to be dogs.

So as all of these dogs become less like dogs are more like little people what can we expect?  That is easy; doggy diet fads, doggy yoga and doggy anorexia.  You’ll see the pharmaceutical companies start making doggy Fen Phen and doggy Prozac.  You’ll see dogs wearing dark sunglasses and acting like they don’t know you because the purse you have is no longer in fashion.  And of course, you’ll see doggy botox.

Is there a solution to this doggy madness that is spinning out of control?  Is there a stop to companies selling more and more human products to dogs?  Probably not, but my solution is simple, if you want carry your dog around all the time and not let your pooch walk on all fours as nature intended – breed them to no longer have legs.  Problem solved!